My husband and I are Survivor fans and never miss an episode. We often, say at least once during a viewing, that we never could “survive”. These convos sparked an idea for an article. However when I sat down to write one on how I wasn’t cut out for Survivor I came to realize that in fact I am one hell of a winning candidate! Here’s what I discovered about being a Mommy has prepared me to be a Survivor contestant.
1. Every day I must barter with others in my clan for food, alliance and peace.
2. I am constantly in a state of a challenge. Whether it be the monkey bars at the park, balancing a toddler on each hip while pushing a grocery cart with my belly button or out running our white rat dog to the back door I’ve acquired the speed, balance and agility to possibly win all challenges for rewards and advantages.
3. I am faced with bugs and reptiles on a daily basis. Having little ones with an interest for all living and breathing things I am always faced with an assortment of creatures. Not to mention along with these creepy crawlers I am surrounded by three wild animals that run purely on emotions and hunger. Therefore jungle inhabitants are no worry.
4. I haven’t gone to the bathroom by myself in 5 years, what’s another 40 days?
5. I do not shower on a regular basis and I’ve convinced myself that it’s good for the hair and skin. With it being just the norm within a large group, I’d fit right in.
6. I am “sleep-challenged” > I have not had a restful night sleep in 6 years and sleep next to a mammal that makes loud snorting noises throughout the night. Bring on the tarps and log beds … as long as there is no little minions yelling from cribs it all sounds like a recipe for 8 hours of solid sleep for the sleep deprived.
7. I have perfected the art of looking put together with a top knot, a few articles of clothing, a sun-kissed face and coconut oil as beauty product.
8. For the first year of the twins life I survived on leftover rice cereal which is pretty damn close to just rice.
9. Answering to mommy, mom and ma 12 hours out of the 24 in a day, I would for sure transition well into having a nickname like “Momma B” or “Ma Bear” on the island.
10. The immunity necklace resembles the majority of “jewelry” my five-year-old manufactures for me so I know that it would look pretty awesome against my collar bone.
11. Having gone through giving birth and a combined total of three years of breastfeeding, my goods have been seen once or twice in public. I’ll do my laundry in the nude, no issues here.
12. I’d get on the good side of many just with my shelter building skills. Sheets, chairs, boxes and pillows … you name it I’ve built forts out of it. Bring on the banana leaves and twigs.