“I know you don’t want to hear this but …” is how a lot of conversations went while I was under going fertility treatments. Here’s how some of those went …
“I know you don’t want to hear this but …” it’s so easy for me to get pregnant that when we start trying it will happen in a snap so I won’t even have to think about it.
“I know you don’t want to hear this but …” my cousin’s friend who is 21 and single is pregnant with her third child and she is at the club drinking a martini.
“I know you don’t want to hear this but …” I’m pregnant again and didn’t even want my first kid.
“I know you don’t want to hear this but …” maybe if you just stop thinking about it or “trying” it will just happen for you.
“I know you don’t want to hear this but …” I hate kids and don’t understand the whole pregnancy thing and why you would want to be pregnant.
“I know you don’t want to hear this but …” don’t they have surrogates for that?
“I know you don’t want to hear this but …” couldn’t you get pregnant with multiple babies, imagine the stretch marks from that!!
“I know you don’t want to hear this but …” isn’t that unnatural, will your kids be “okay” if you do get pregnant?
Infertility is a disease. Could you imagine me walking up to someone going through chemo and saying “I know you don’t want to hear this but I’m cancer free” or “I know you don’t want to hear this but won’t you lose your hair and have terrible side affects, why do that to yourself?” OR “I know you don’t want to hear this but I have the flu and feel like I have cancer so I know what you are enduring” OR “I know you don’t want to hear this but cousin’s best friend drank a gallon of orange juice every day and cured her cancer” OR “I know you don’t want to hear this but don’t they have a Lumpectomy for that?” Get the point?!?
And because of those words and the feelings associated, I will never, ever use that phrase when addressing someone enduring a life changing experience. Let this also be a warning and a reminder to you all to also not use this phrase when speaking to someone when you can’t even begin to understand the pain they may be going through. If you find yourself thinking these words it’s probably best not to say them out loud. I know you don’t want to hear this but it’s the truth.
#infertilityawareness
The Funny in Mommy 
Brooke – I can understand completely about an opening phrase like that when addressing an issue and how frustrating it can be. To me, the phrase people use that just makes me want to screen is “No offense, but…” and then they go ahead and insult you, thinking the “No offense” line is a get out of jail free card or some “out” in what they are about to say. When people start their conversation with you with “No offense…” I stop them immediately and just tell them to say no more. It’s in appropriate to be insulted to your face, let alone, preparing you for the actual insult to come. So I agree, “I know you don’t want to hear this…” should be eliminated from the English language.
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I love you Heidi. I know you have heard your share of phrases like this. I think I was actually around during a conversation when you shut someone down before they were able to move forward with saying something dumb. Thanks for understanding!
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Scream, not screen. 🙂
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