More annoying than ANOTHER re-post of the Jay Cutler Instagram …


This week proved to be relatively annoying in all aspects of life. Because of that all I can do is laugh at what has gone on this week or I may go insane from the overwhelming feeling of failing as a mommy as one might do that has small children in their care every second of every day.

To make the laughter come with ease, as well as make others feel better that also faced parenting failure this week, I share with you the highlights of my week to find the “funny in mommy.”

Potty training sucks but even more so when you have twins that are of opposite sex. My little twinkies are not even close to being potty trained because we have a hurdle I did not foresee  … Hailey wanting to stand in order to pee. Having two brothers (especially one that is discovering the potty at the SAME time) makes it a hard conversation to have with a two year-old that thinks adults are morons. So until we find a solution that little H will actually listen to, she will stand upon a stool waiting for a stream of pee to arch into the water of the toilet bowl  that will never, ever come.


My belief is that money, especially change, is crawling with germs. From my experiences, each time one of my kids touches money they get sick. So how happy was I when the week started out with Brax playing with a big pile of change he found in the laundry room. No matter how times I would find a nickle or dime and put it out of little hands reach, Braxton would find one somewhere else. Since the twins idolize their older brother they wanted change too. Since Brax doesn’t take lightly to “sharing” with his brother and sister and his little brother knows this, each time a coin would break free Travis would grab it like a bat out of hell and STICK it in his MOUTH in order to triumph over his big brother. To me, he might as well lick the inside of a public toilet.


For the entire length of my children’s lives there have been toilet bowl brushes located next to the toilets in our home. This week the twins have decided that it would be best to make use of these objects that appear to be laying dormant in their eyes. On four separate occasions this week I have had to wrestle these batons of germs from little fingers as they run screaming around the house trying to “tag” one another with the bristles of the brush. Are you serious?


After this week I have come to the conclusion that I am either packing away or throwing away our couch pillows and cushions. I am either picking them up or falling over them between 5 and 6 times a day. Being locked in to escape the Midwest cold my little spawns have taken it upon themselves to create and build their own playground constructed of all pillows and cushions in our home. This does not happen once a day but rather three to four times daily.


Oh hey look dad brought home Post-it Notes! Yay! Let’s stick them all over the furniture and walls and then cry when our evil black-hearted mommy takes them down.


This morning I awoke with a full schedule of “getting the kids out of the house.” Brax had school, the twins had a sports class, we then had a play date which would put us at lunch and then nap time. The universe had other plans. Brax woke with a cough and Hailey a green crusty nose. With that my plans went to shit literally as I sighed at 6:43 am this morning knowing the day would be ANNOYING and as I turned to look out the kitchen window our dog was taking a shit on our deck.




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