Keeping Rules and Secrets

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So who has heard this amazing song titled “Secrets” by Mary Lambert? Talk about truthful. Connects straight to my heart as a woman and a mommy. Mary talks about her funny and her serious, making fun of what the world thinks we should show to others and what we should keep to ourselves. These “keeping rules” makes me think of friendship.

If we keep all our secrets hidden, what do we expect of a friendship then? Isn’t it our friends who we get to show our horrible and gruesome to? I’d rather have one real friend showing me all her grime, love, hate and cat earrings then have 545 fake friends showing me their “keeping rules” plastic smile self.

I have friends that I passed notes to in high school still supporting me as a 31 year-old passing fruit snacks to four year-olds. I have friends that I’ve had for more than a decade that saw me as a drunken undergrad and also as a breastfeeding mom.  I have friends that sat in suffocating cubicles next to me as we lived corporate America and shared our personal dreams in between. I have friends that I met while unpacking and packing the boxes labeled with the contents of my life.  I am fortunate enough to have all these ladies in my life where their friendships have rolled with the punches. Some of them are mommies too and some are not. But no matter what they are or where they are, they are my true friends. Never leaving me, always growing with me no matter where we each are at in our lives. The one thing they all have in common is that there were not, are not and will never be any rule and secret keeping.

I don’t talk to these women every day or even every week but they know who they are. And because of them and the secrets we’ve shared, about dysfunction, love and fears, I pledge to be real in all my friendships new and old. I pledge to keep no rules or secrets, to really build meaningful friendships that last past the time kept by an analog clock. Friendships that can be seen in the dark. Friendships with friends that don’t ever want to stop but know when to stop YOU when it matters. I also pledge to be real with my readers, because if I’m going to grow and make this matter I gotta be real with no rules.

Below is my rendition-twist of “Secrets” dedicated to my NO “keeping rule” friends 🙂 I hope you find the inspiration to make and share your own.

I used to have an eating disorder but now I love food too much to have one
My shit’s not in order though I would like it to appear so, just look at my board on Pinterest

I’m always a minute or two late
I’ve got too many things to say, that’s why I started a blog
I rock corduroys, mismatched earring backs
I don’t know what “Extrapolate” means, so I’m leaving this blank
My family is Polish, Croatian and Irish but my dad just says American if you ask him (try doing a report on that when you are 9 years-old)
But we have a good time making fun of each other

They tell us from the time we’re young
To hide the things that we don’t like about ourselves
Inside ourselves
I know I’m not the only one
Who spent so long attempting to be someone else
Well I’m over it

I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are
So what I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone that did care

I’m for sure heterosexual, my husband can tell you that 🙂
Sometimes I cry at spilled milk, especially if it was breast milk I had pumped
I care a lot, use the calculator on my cell phone
And never know when to throw something away, I keep half eaten apples in the fridge
And I’m super critical of myself and have the tendency to admire the same faults in strangers
I’m scared of death and spiders
I love my collarbone and triceps, sometimes flexing in the mirror like a teenage boy
And I never really grew up, in fact I’m pretty sure I’m still 22

They tell us from the time we’re young
To hide the things that we don’t like about ourselves
Inside ourselves
I know I’m not the only one
Who spent so long attempting to be someone else
Well I’m over it

I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are

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