I thought when I said “I Do” on August 16th 2008 to Mr. Halperin that I was done dating. Dating blows. Dating is hard. Dating is tiring. But I was wrong, dating would be beginning all over again. And again. And again. AND AGAIN. Am I a swinger? No. I’m a mommy, so I’m mommy dating.
It’s true, you need friends. You need others to share your ups and downs. You need others to tell you “me too” when it comes to dealing with things as a woman and especially as a mommy. To hear you aren’t alone in feeling crazy or thinking your kids are crazy. But just like dating to find your soul mate, dating to find mommy friends also blows. Is hard. Is tiring. But also satisfying and soul soothing as finding your true love.
In the last five years I have done my deal of mommy dating. Especially with four moves, two pregnancies and the introduction of twins into my life (read about the result here). I’ve had good dates, bad dates, amazing relationships, toxic relationships and relationships that I took for granted. But how do we get to the point of even having a relationship, where do you pick up another mom? Not a bar, that would be a bad idea. The gym? I don’t have a gym membership so I’m pretty sure that I would be “creepy” and not friendly. The library? I have enough problems keeping my kids from ripping books off the shelves and being overly friendly to the librarians so they don’t kick us out. Church? I’m working on this one but with my decision (read about that decision here) to make it a me time of the week I don’t bring my kids along, so I’m not sure others even know I’m a mom.
I’m about 7 months into our move cross country. So I’ve been mommy dating for about half that. Not fun. With three kids, packed schedules and just being tired it’s hard to find the time and place to date. Just like our marriages life gets in the way of friendships. So where to start? Taking the “retrace your steps” path that seems to work for the majority of things, from mascara to pacifiers to action figures, I’ll be relaying my Mommy Dating History in upcoming posts.