Poops and Diaper Changes

Oh twin poops and diaper changes in general.  There are days when I can change up to six poopy diapers just in addition to wet ones. Such a number also means leaving the house in the morning hours withOUT someone pooping within minutes of heading out the door is rare.

Along with poopy diapers come diaper rashes. Along with rashes come creams. All diaper rash creams the same?? NOPE. One twin does well on cream A while twin #2 does better with cream B, which means double the cash for butt smear and twice the chance of misplacing a necessary tube of goo.

It also wasn’t a great day when our boy/girl twins started wearing different sized diapers from one another. We then had to worry about having two different sizes in stock and to remember to look at the number associated with the diaper to make sure the right twin was getting the right size. If this process failed the end result would be either a leaky mess or better yet a dreaded blow out.

Cloth diapers??!! I’m sure there are plenty of moms out there that have mastered this but when this was and is suggested to me (mind you never by the mom of twins) I want to take a cloth diaper and stuff it in their mouth. For those of you unfamiliar with the steps of cleaning these “cloth diapers” please Google it and then let me know exactly when I’m supposed to fit this process into my day of raising three kids and running a household. don’t forget to DOUBLE the time and steps because I have twins, that means TWO butts. Thanks.

The actual changing of a twin’s diaper is also no easy feat. It’s like playing defense in some sort of demented game of basketball involving feces. Keeping one twin from grabbing their own digested mess while wrestling another away to avoid foot to head contact and wasted wipes. At least I’m keeping up and exercising my hand-eye coordination in my 30’s.

On the positive side, when the twins were infants we were changing up to an average of twenty diapers a day between the two. This pushed us quickly to toilet train our then almost three year old son. By comparison his butt was so much bigger than our tiny twosome that it felt as if we were changing a teenager. We also manage to rack up so many Pamper points to cover the cost of our photo Christmas cards for the most expensive month of the year (because did I mention our diaper filling twins were born on December 23rd??)
It doesn’t help that sometimes our 4 year old will call to me from the bathroom in the early hours of the morning to “help” him out. So. Much. Poop.
So, as I wipe another butt this morning I tell myself everything is a phase and diaper changes will one day be a thing of the past. I also know that potty training is no day in the sun. To think about training two little ones, of different sexes, at the same time blows my mind. But if all else fails we can move to a nudist colony where I will no longer have to worry about diapers.

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