Recap of Vacation Mommy Freedoms

After being on vacation for six days without my kids I realize now the things I took for granted when it was just me. Most of these “things” are silly and some what humorous when you really break it down. So I figured I would document these findings in this week’s Friday Funnies. 

1. The taste of a hot meal without the interruptions of dropped foods and utensils, refill requests or having small hands reach over the table to grab the food off your plate or climb into your lap.

2. Using a pen, keyboard, remote, brush, toothbrush and a million other simple objects without it being grabbed from your hand or asked for to satisfy the curiosity thirst of a small human being.

3. Having the time and freedom to shower and dress completely. (Though I came to find that this was actually a pain in the butt to do on a regular daily basis).

4. Going to the bathroom without another human being staring at you in the process or trying to “wipe” you.

5.  Putting clothes on without worrying about other little bodies pulling out clothes from drawers in order to dress too.

6. Applying makeup without a game of Whack a Mole involving beauty products and small hands.

7. The freedom of sitting down to a meal without making 5 different meals and cutting up not only your food but at least the food of three others before the fork even hits your lips.

8. Waking up and getting out of bed when your OWN body feels that it is time.

9. Leaving to go somewhere 5 minutes before you have to be there. (Not taking into account the amount of time needed for surprise diaper changes, bathroom breaks, buckling in three littles into car seats, packing a snack bag, filling waters and making sure some sort of mini vehicle (stroller or wagon) is in the back of your larger vehicle.

10. Watching a television program without a small voice asking when their turn is or not being able to hear the program at all. To go along with actually watching interrupted, being able to watch a show with blood, sex and weapons without worrying about small eyes and ears.

11. Sitting down in the middle of the day.

12. Not pulling out tissues, snacks, toys and other crap before pulling your wallet out of your purse in public.

13. A HOT cup of coffee.

14. Wearing a zip up hoodie without anything under it and not worrying about it being unzipped in public to flash everyone your bra and stretch marks.

15. Painting your toenails without little fingers trying to touch and smear the wet lacquer.

Even after these recounts and sitting back in Illinois amongst the chaos of reality, the funniest thing is that I wouldn’t change having my days crazy and unpredictable with my kiddos. At the end of the day I would rather eat my meals cold, smell after not showering, take 20 minutes to even get in the car, rise before the sun does and drink luke warm coffee just to have the sweet smell of my children on my clothes, their sticky fingers in my hair, their warm kisses on my face and their love all around me.

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