Mommy Brain on Vacation

Due to international travel issues this was supposed to be posted almost a week ago BUT better late than never.

For weeks I imagined my first night of my kid-free vacation to be filled with 12 hours of blissful sleep. How wrong was I.

I blame my dreams of slumber being crushed by a text we received late Wednesday evening. Our flight was cancelled. Yep, a flight booked months in advance and one that was to leave in less than 12 hours at 2 pm the next day. With Erik scouring the Internet for flights while holding on two cell phones for customer service, my control freak details of how the next 24 hours were supposed to go fell completely apart like an unstable Jenga game.

Luckily enough we rebooked a new flight at 7:40 am. This flight plan included a lay over in Baltimore along with boarding numbers that would guarantee Erik and I not sitting together. We would then land in Florida at 2 pm. I renamed that flight plan Long Ass Day.

I am not the type of person to be okay with my plans being disrupted when I am leaving my kids for the first time in three years for 6 days in another country. I didn’t get to say good bye to them since I had already put them down to sleep. I didn’t have time to recheck the 7 page guide of lists and instructions I left. I didn’t have time for last minute packing. I was now waking up at 4:15 am rather than 6:30. Woe is me. I was going to the Bahamas with my husband, kid free.

After our Long Ass Day we checked into our hotel. Super sleepy from my 4 am wake up call and a day of flying, I made it through dinner, a hot bath and an episode of Biggest Loser with a brain full of mush. Thinking I would fall asleep instantly, I turned out the lights and nestled into the crisp and stiff bed sheets of our king size hotel bed.

The joke was on me. I laid awake before falling asleep making a checklist of all the things I had to convey to my sister, mom and babysitter, who would all be taking turns watching the minions during the next six days. The last time I looked at the stark red lights of the alarm clock an hour had passed. I squeezed my eyes tight and tried thinking of anything but “what ifs”.

I then woke up to the sound of a train, yes they build train tracks and stations next to Marriots in Florida, around 4 am. I laid awake with my mind playing out terrible scenarios of things that could happen while I was gone. I then made a plan to avoid each of those scenarios, then a checklist of those plans and steps to relay to my sister, mom and babysitter before leaving the country in 7 hours.
By 5:06 am my mental checklists were complete and I prayed to the slumber gods for some more sleep. 6:11 am I awoke to my husband turning the bathroom light on and the sound of another train clanking away. Good Morning first day of vacation, good morning to you!

To make fun of myself, my Friday Funnies list will consist of the insane items that my “middle of the night” checklists contained.

1. What if my sister didn’t watch the driver side mirror while backing out of the garage? What if she broke it off? I must text her about that.
2. What if she didn’t see Erik’s car while backing out and hit it? Should she move it to the street and then back out the van? What if someone hit Erik’s car while it was parked on the street? Would people know we were out of town because it was parked in a different spot?
3. What if no one held my daughter’s hand during school drop off? Would she run into the parking lot? I must text my sister about that.
4. Braxton has show and tell on Monday for something starting with the letter A. It’s gotta be something cool. I must text my mom about that.
5. I hope it rains in Chicago because what if no one waters my mums, they will die. I must text my sister to find out if it is raining because if it’s not then someone needs to water my flowers.
6. I wonder if there are any strawberries left for the kids to eat.
7. We missed signing up for the October reading list because we missed out on story time on Thursday. I have to remember to sign the kids up when I get back into town.
8. Should I wear sunscreen on vacation? If I don’t I’ll get burned and cause some serious skin damage. If I do I’ll still be a pasty Midwestern pale. No one will know I went on vacation. Everyone looks better with a tan.
9. When I get home I need to start sleeping more.
10. I forgot to tell my mom the clothes in the basket outside of the dryer are clean and not to wash them again. I have to text her about that.

And there you have it folks, DAY 1 of vacation for the brain of a mommy.


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